The balance of receiving abundance

I had always thought abundance was a flow or force, something that simply comes into your life. But I recently stumbled on the idea that receiving abundance is more about keeping the equilibrium of giving and taking. I’ve been doing a lot of self-work this past month.

A few years ago, I was trying to recover from a summer than just absolutely rocked me from my core and challenged every dream and idea I had about my life. In a total effort to stop the madness, I stopped trying to give and I stopped trying to receive. I just wanted to be.

I knew the heart pain would take it’s course. Nothing last forever. But when I finally came up for air, around the time preceding the July-August set of eclipses, I was so bone dry empty I didn’t know where to begin digging myself out.

Feeling like I was starting at square one, I retook the reigns of my push and pull energy and felt out where they were going. Not only did I need to reestablish a sense of security. I literally had to find the faith to open up again a little at a time.

I had to receive again. Not spiritual-wise either. Those connections are hard-wired, even if sometimes pushed aside. I’ve received the wisest wisdom in my darkest of times. But I needed to open to the world around me, the people, the activities, the potentials again.

I’ve always had trouble around receiving back from what I put out, because usually what I put out doesn’t feel like I gave anything. If I barely noticed I gave anything, I could bear it because it came so easy, right?

A month into the opening to this new alignment I know I was only hurting myself by not receiving back. I was consistently leaving myself in a deficit state. Denying myself. As I was seeing this pattern play out, I brought up a youtube meditation to get some flow and clarity around that state.

What I remembered, (because I’ve been in flow and abundance before, and I bet you have too) was that receiving had little to do with my own self worth or non-worth.  I could feel completely unworthy and still be part of the living web of energy and life around me. That life flow was still going to include me in it.

From the state of calm okay-ness, there is little difference between giving and getting, it’s in equilibrium. You give, you get, you give, you get. In the course of a conversation, the give and take is natural. We notice quickly when that balance is off. From Center and the world of energy, there is simply an exchange of love.

Pride and ego may throw a bit of fit at the thought of getting back, accepting a gift, or receiving an unexpected surprise. whether I earned it enough or not. I know now abundance will re-assert itself anyway because nature seeks to fill the void. Water and energy travel the paths of least resistance…to the empty places where there is no resistance. It seeks to fill.

Here’s what I listened to, hope it helps another:

Where are your hollows and depressions? What needs a good fill up in your life?

Ready, set, comment!!