Why perfect kills self acceptance

tumblr_lr6g5ldzu31r2lskmo1_500This series we’re talking about self acceptance, so ask yourself, when was the last time you felt good about how you look, who you are, or even proud of your life or job? Do you love who you are? You are responsible for how you feel about you.  No excuses. Good advise aside, it doesn’t matter if mom or dad didn’t approve or thought they knew better than you did.  It doesn’t really matter if an ex-date didn’t like your hair, your paycheck, or your car. You are the only who can make the choices that will enable to you live a life you can be proud of, to take care of and maintain a body you love to live in, or even being able to think about planning the next steps in your amazing life. In the end, no one else’s opinion matters, but your own.  No one can change your life, but you. Can you accept your own authority? Can you accept your feelings? Can you accept yourself, as you are right now? Because that’s where it all starts, that’s what you need as your foundation for building a life from which you could continually feel excited and blessed. And that is what this weeks Super Secret Powers Power-ups are all about!


I’m going to be blunt here, there is no way to avoid pain in this life. Some people will find any weakness and exploit it, it doesn’t matter how we feel about it, it doesn’t matter how deeply we tried to bury that weakness. And the deeper we bury something, the more life and the Divine plan seem to try to bring to the surface. If we can’t avoid pain, we have to learn how to cope and how to thrive, even if we aren’t always happy. Even if we aren’t or life isn’t “perfect”.


Perfect isn’t nearly as static or unchanging as we think it is. We want to believe there are a few standards that never change, something we can always strive towards because they so ideal it is the truth. But that thought process is utter crap. Perfect cannot be attained but in seconds at a time. Those seconds of perfection, perhaps minutes, aren’t going to sustain you throughout all your days. They really interesting part is that those moments were perfect, because how you FELT about them and while they were happening, and not because they were externally perfect. So, then is perfect a feeling we are chasing, rather than an external ideal?


That is a big YES!


So if perfection is a feeling, then it shouldn’t matter if I have my done perfectly or my outfit is astounding, or whether the house is immaculate, perfect is whenever I FEEL perfect?


The short answer, Nope, none of those things really matter.


The longer answer is that, if a super clean and neat house is something matters to you, then that is something you need to accept about yourself. But the problem almost always falls into the realms of the expectations of perfection that comes from others. If we are chasing the perfect life, then so is everyone else. And what we might think is perfect to us, might not be perfect to anyone else. What we think is perfect might make someone else defensive or angry. We all have different expectations of perfect, and so the minute we have to live with someone, have a relationship with someone, we have to begin compromising on this whole idea of what is perfect for us. Unless we are a focused on the feeling, that is. When we want to be others, we will always try to find a balance where everyone can FEEL perfect with they life they are living together. We seek harmony when there is love, we don’t seek to prove perfection, because through harmony we feel it more often. What would happen, if instead of always trying to prove that we are perfect or right, we sought harmony between us and the others around us?


Our societies and families tell us that are only a certain number of ways that we can experience this perfect feeling. Because the idea of perfect changes slightly from one person to the next, there is no possible way you can really prove you “perfect” or that you have the “perfect” life. It’s a wild goose chase, that can cost you your happiness. Yet when we are really focus on finding that perfect feeling, rather than proving things are perfect, we find that are uncountable ways that we can feel perfect. 

So, what is it you are trying to do, prove your perfect or actually feel perfect?

When you’re ready to start finding that feeling of perfect in your life, book an Intuitive Life Coaching Session!

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