Is your relaxation time sacred? –Practices that matter series

Relaxation is sacred

It surprised me that relation came up, as I plotted and planned out this month’s series “Practices that matter”. It hadn’t been my first choice. I thought perhaps I would talk more about centering, grounding, soul embodiment, and so forth. Things you’ve heard me talk about before. But as I lived out my practices, I found that relaxation is what I really needed, and therefore probably needed to talk about. The guidance you get for yourself, usually is the guidance that will help others too, right?! ūüėČ

Stress is part of our survival mechanism. I’m sure we’ve all read enough articles to know that stress is not a place that long-term stress is not good for the vessel. The ironic part is that our brain can’t actually tell the difference between high stress and high excitement or joy. Both states trigger similar reactions in our body. This means that we, our thinking, is the only thing interpreting whether a situation is good or bad. While both happiness and stress can trigger similar reactions, only stress has long-lasting negative effects on our natural spiritual connection. During stress, we are so busy trying to protect ourselves that our attention focuses almost solely on the physical. In other words, our natural balance between physical and soul automatically shifts toward the physical, making it harder to hear or understand guidance. Being so focused on just that one state of being that creates a tunnel vision effect in our thinking and perception. This state of mind is¬†hard to break if we don’t know the difference between fear-based thinking and intuition. It can make our thinking AND our guidance muddled.

when you block your loving perspective with fear, you cut off your connection to miracles. This is why you need to learn to relax in the face of stress and chaos

 

Einstein said that we cannot solve our problems with the same thinking that created them. When we stay in the stress state, we are tunnel visioned into the thinking that created the block. It is only when we can tune back into Soul and Divine self that we begin to more clearly access intuition and wider perspective. I know that it’s going sound a little impossible to relax when you feel¬†worried or stressed. But relaxing is the exact key we need to unlock ourselves from the tunnel vision of fear effect AND to open to intuition.

I’m not talking about rushing off to an extra yoga class, locking the door so you can have me-time, or cramming in a ten-minute coffee break. Those activities end up feeling stressful in the end! We’ve been accustomed to thinking of relaxation as an activity, something else to schedule out in our planners. But relaxation is a sacred act, a simple shift in the way we are perceiving the events around us. Taking a few minutes to simply stop thinking or “go blank” is just the thing needed to reset your day and vibe. At least a few times a week, I need to take my relaxation a little more seriously. Whether it’s a bath, a walk, or just a quiet night to myself, getting away from the tunnel vision mindset stress brings on changes my view on myself and what I’m doing. The practice is sacred¬†because, in that space which relaxation created, Soul inevitably fills.

Because nature abhors a vacuum, conscious relaxation leaves more space for Soul to fill.

Because nature abhors a vacuum, conscious relaxation leaves more space for Soul to fill. Click To Tweet

Let’s get the convo started!! What are your favorite ways to open yourself back to the Divine through relaxation? Leave your comment!

Are you doing the heart work? -Soul practices that matter series

Are you doing the heart work?

 

Heart work is one of the most crucial pieces of self work any empath or intuitive can add to their practices. But it’s often the case that we use meditation and practices to band aid our emotions without really every working with them. My work is focused on the benefits of working with emotions and emotional patterns so that we can release them, not avoid them, but truly heal them. My professional work is informed by my personal practices, so don’t believe for an instant that I am talking out my ass in some academic way or that I am trying to be holier than thou. Heart work needs to be talked about more. I met a woman at a psychic circle recently who was just beginning to open up. We had been paired up, and my message for her was to release what was holding her back. As we talked, she mentioned how emotional she kept getting when she thought about her awakening. I had to tell her is was a natural thing, that our body knows how to process and cleanse. I still feel a little taken back that people still need to be told it’s okay to feel and feel deeply. Feeling deeply is a spiritual gift!!!

Just about everyday I have to do some kind of heart work. I do have one specific thing I do all the time, because each day it seems like my heart is in a slightly different place. From what I hear from others who do consciousness practices, this is a common theme. The one consistent thing that happens is that I have to sit and really ask myself where I am things, life, my work, my plans, my relationships. This asking is what informs me what meditations, clearings, shifts that I need for the day. Of course, there are days when I spend most of the afternoon shifting to high vibe, working and re-working tender feelings. The process I use is deceptively simple.

Emotions are a form of guidance we get from our physical bodies about how centered we are or aren’t. Specifically, learning to identify what we are feeling, will guide us to know what kind of self love we need to work with in the present moment, to bring raise our vibe and bring us to center.

guidance behind feelings copy
This graphic is from my free masterclass: Love Letters from Soul: learning to thrive with empathy and intuition. You can get the masterclass free by signing up for my newsletter!!

Emotions are not there to hold us back or to hurt us. So often when we realize we are feeling down or upset, we allow our survival instinct (monkey mind, inner critic, it has many names) to go into full blown investigative mode. This voice within us, has the job of figuring out why we are in pain and what might be causing it. But survival instinct goes a little overboard when it comes to emotions, because usually there is no physical wound, no way to know if a pattern or situation is really over or not. This makes survival instinct a poor judge of emotional pain. It simply doesn’t really understand what the feeling is about. The feelings are there to guide us back to center.

In a typical day,

  1. I will begin by taking stock of where my energy is. Am I full of energy? Feeling depleted? Feeling scattered?
  2. If I’m not full of energy, I go a little deeper.¬†Perhaps I realize my heart is feeling a little tender around myself worth. Maybe I’m feeling resistance to putting my work on the net that day because I’m not sure I’m actually reaching people. Perhaps I’m still feeling some emotional ripples from something my husband said the night before when he was talking about money. When I find the root of the feelings, I get a sense of “ah-ha”, or even “okay, I see. I got this now.”
  3. I then release what I need to release. If something someone said or projected made some emotional ripples in my world, I have to deal with my ripples. The other person probably didn’t even know I was getting emotional ripples, they were probably just talking something out or venting. So I spend time reassuring myself that I have money in the bank and that I have every opportunity and potential to attract money to me in this day. I get really deep into my knowing and sense that even if I cannot see all the ripples I create in others and out in to the world (from the love I put out), that in the world of energy we live, it cannot be otherwise. I get deeper into my knowing that as long as I stay open to the moment, to meeting the universe, willing to be an equal receiver and broadcaster, that the universe will have my back…it’s the law of attraction. Any other thoughts are just fear worrying over getting the results my fear mind wants. I love them, and tell them “it’s okay, that’s not whats really happening here. If we want a life of love and abundance, we have try higher vibe ways of being.”
  4. After grounding in what I know to be true, and letting soul inform me of anything I might have temporarily forgotten, I fill up on love. I ask for very specific things. If I am doubting my self worth, perhaps I might ask to be shown how I can help or have helped just one single person. If I am feeling very caught up in my feelings still, I ask to be given the opportunity to share, in a real way, what my feels feel like. Sharing usually helps relieve the feelings and can help other release similar feelings.
  5. Most days I will find something to relish in, to celebrate, to embrace with intent. Even if that thing is simply that I have to chance once more to make an impact in someone’s life. There are days when the only thing I can relish in is that I get to watch silly comedies to laugh with. And that’s okay. It’s being true to my experience.

 

Doing heart work isn’t about faking it. Doing heart work is about knowing where you are, and giving yourself the love that you need! Sometimes that love looks like: boldness, relief, activated, vulnerable, conviction, freedom…it can take many forms. Honor that and you honor your most Divine Self!

It doesn’t always work on the first shot. There are certain ripples that take a few days to work with, some months and years. But the more I do it, the more I find I understand myself better. I also find that Soul’s messages get clearer. As work to clear out my heart from tenderness, confusion, stress, and so forth, I am creating more space in my daily experience for a more solid connection with soul to form. As I go through this short little exercise my relationship to emotion changes as well. I am caught up in it less, as I can recognize what is happening faster than I had before. The quicker I can become aware of my emotional ripples, generally speaking, the less I really have to suffer because of them.

 

Heart work Affirmation:

Honoring my emotional experiences, honors my Divine Self!

Honoring my emotional experiences, honors my Divine Self! Click To Tweet

 

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honoring your emotional experience, honors your Divine Self

 

Expanding into your dreams: achieving without striving

expand into your dreams

 

For a few years now I have been struggling to realize my dreams for my business. Around last November I signed up for a course from the Amazing Shirly Joy Weiss where I was learning and re-learning how access my own Divine wisdom and use it to really refine my business process and understanding of my offerings. For most the program I struggled to really ground the Divine Awesome Woo Woo messages down to something, like what to say in a newsletter or Social Network post.

It was those little things that I really off about. And I would hear the wisdom asking me to just keep calm, keep in center, keep up the daily practice of opening, filling up on source, asking, and listening. I knew in my heart that I was going somewhere with all of this, with rummaging around my creative process to find the right words, the right sentiment, the right…well, any sort of inspiration.

One of the first things Shirly talked to me about was staying in center. And my too-literal-at-times brain, said “got it. I’ll sit right in my deep center and I’ll try not move from there.” But as we were asked to do homework and challenges…well, that kind of action was so hard to do coming from a deep, centered, and, in my brain, a seated position. How do you “do” without striving? How to do create action and movement from the still center of being-ness?

The video below, I think, shows a mini-revelation to this predicament. Conditioning the body. Just like an athlete would, but for holding more light, more soul, more YOU. It should never be about moving from center to go and “do” something. It should be about expanding your sense of self, letting in more self and soul, to be expanded enough to encompass what we would like to do.

 

Sometimes that expansion will take some discomfort, some growing pains. We might have to integrate our “shadow” side or fears in order to gain enough presence to encompass our dreams and goals. And we might be afraid still, but the more we let ourselves into our bodies and into the world, the more clarity we will have of negative thought patterns that need to be healed, and more love for ourselves. As Shirly taught and I have come see clearly,¬†fear and love cannot exist in the same place. The more love we let in, the more love there will be to work from and with. We will have arrived at our dream destination because we have expanded our capacity to love ourselves beyond our old limited thinking of who once thought we were.

When the magic of the holidays isn’t so magical

HolidayMadness2

As I’m writing this post, it’s a little over two weeks until Thanksgiving weekend, and a little less than two months till Christmas. I don’t have one present yet, haven’t set my plans for Thanksgiving, and already feel a little flummoxed about how to fit everything in! Most years I try to plan ahead, at least a little. I’ve picked up gifts throughout the year as I found interesting things for people I love and planned larger purchases on special sale days. I have a blended family, so we didn’t always get to spend the actual holiday days together, usually that meant we got to celebrate everything twice, at least! For years, to me, the holidays meant gearing up to be my most organized and thoughtful self. ¬†Being sensitive and an empath, I knew not everyone put in as much energy, thought, and planning into having those specials as I did, but at the end of the day I usually felt okay that I did it. I appreciated it, even if others were less than appreciative. ¬†I felt bound and determined to spread the holiday spirit even if I had shove¬†my magic of the holidays glitter down their throats. The phrase “you’re going to be happy, whether you like it or not” comes to mind.¬† ūüėČ

Ouch, really? Is that any kind of magic to spread??

And while I still feel that compulsion to share, I know very well, and want to put out the reminder that the magic of the holidays isn’t about one day of the year, or gifts, or religion, or even family. It’s about us and the light we put forth. All circumstances come down to the light we, and others, chose to forth. This holiday season, I want to ask you

What kind of light will you put forth?

In spite of

  • all public places being¬†wild with people of all sorts of energies, and maybe having issues with crowds
  • the rush of getting everything done in time
  • money concerns
  • non-stop christmas carols, tv programs, sales, and commercials driving one to the brink of mind numbing maddness
  • schedule ¬†and routine interrupt, with no school, no work, and travel days
  • too much rich food and alcohol all at once, throwing digestive systems into disarray
  • too little sunlight
  • difficult and drama-filled family events, or no family to speak of to be with
  • still grieving or feeling down
  • getting burnt out and ill
  • not enough parking spaces, public bathrooms, or sales clerks EVER

how will you put the magic out there? How do you want to feel while holding this energy for others?

Ask Intuitive Coach Lindsay: Advice on super secret powered relationships

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Get intuitive and master life coaching advice and help from, me, Spiritual and intuitive coach Lindsay! ¬†We all have some doubts and some questions, and not every situation needs a dedicated coach. Got a question or challenge? Then fill out the form below! If Lindsay uses your question in her advice feature on this blog you will be notified! Whether your question is about love, weight loss, finding motivation, job transition, following your dreams, or discovering your authentic self, I can’t wait to hear from you!

This advise section is about Relationships. Relationships are beautiful, but they can be messy, filled with drama, and a living hell at times. Get advice from Lindsay, your super secret powered coach, the liberator of your purpose, power, and passions!

 

Here’s some questions I found this week! If you have any questions of your own, submit them to me in the form below this article!

Dear Super Secret Powered Coach,
I feel like I have lost my confidence and have very little self esteem or self respect left.

This is stupid, but I think what got me through tough, hard and bad days at work was knowing I was doing it all for a good reason, I would do things and work hard to make my ex proud and worked hard for us, I have really lost my drive now.

I’m still stuck on how easily he just f***ed off, I feel used and cheated, I feel embarrassed and ashamed, strangely he has left me looking at my life and my family, thinking that me and they are not good enough.

–Lost

Dearest Lost,

I’m going to be blunt. I have no idea why he left, but it sounds like we were relying on him too heavily for your own sense of accomplishment or fulfillment. At least too much for your own good. You have every right to feel the way to do. Yet, no one person should ever be expected to make everything feel like it’s going right for you. You lost your self-respect long before you lost your boyfriend, girl! You have to love and take yourself, even before you love and take care of partner. You should also be expecting the same from your partner, within reason. He or she should be able to take care of themselves and willing to contribute evenly to your relationship.

As for your feelings now, live and learn my friend. When you do, the next relationship will be that much better.

Lindsay


Dear Super Secret Powered Coach,
I’ve been with my current partner for nearly 10years – engaged for 18months.
I have a real big issue with smoking and before we got engaged I caught him smoking and left our family home. He promised he would stop (as he wasn‚Äôt addicted and only did it to ‘be in with the crowd’). He proposed the next day.
We’ve recently moved to a new home and a month before I smelt it on him again. And again he promised he would stop.
It’s 9 weeks until the wedding and he’s been smoking again this week. I’m obviously not enough for him to stop and the fact he only has a couple a week makes me even more frustrated because I can’t help him as he’s not addicted!¬†

I just don’t know what to do and whether marrying him if he’s so willing to deceive me is the right thing to do.
-Smokedout

Dear Smokedout,
I hope you don’t mind, but I am going to ask you some questions.
Is the smoking issue worth more to than keeping the relationship?
Are you trying to ‚Äúfix‚ÄĚ your fiancee, so that you can have a perfect life?

What you might not like to hear, but is still the truth, fiancees, husbands, and boyfriends will always have the right to do what they wish. You will never lose that right, so long as you don’t give it away. Forcing someone into something they are ready for under the pressure of marriage, is not going ‚Äúwhip a man into shape.‚ÄĚ How would you react if he gave you an ultimatum dependent on whether or not the two of you will marry?

Lastly, a marriage is a partner, a union of energies and will. How can gain his buy in without the use for force? How can you make this a effort between partners?

Strangely enough, the fact that he’s hiding the fact that he’s still smoking from you, is a sign that he does still care about what you think. He knows, ideally, that you are right and that his smoking is not really worth fight about, so he tries to avoid the fight. That is a precious thing to have, don’t take it for granted. There may come a point where he no longer cares how much he’s getting confronted.

Hang in there and try to approach this as if it were you who was being asked to change.

Lindsay


Dear Super Powered Coach,

Anyway, I’ve never been in a relationship for this long, so I don’t know how things are suppose to be. I’ve just been feeling very unloved lately.¬†

In the beginning of our relationship we use to text soooooo much, and he use to say such cute things. Now this slowly changed, we certainly do not text as often as we use to. Just mostly typically things, like good morning, I love you, I miss you, Hows work, Etc.. Now we don’t text for 2 – 3 hours at a time. Now we are also not as lovey dovey as we use to be compared to the beginning as well, don’t cuddle as much etc. I’m not sure if this is normal or not. I guess we are just comfortable.
When we hang out in person everything is typically wonderful. It’s just when we are not together, which I know hes been busy because work has picked up sooo much and hes been exhausted.
I just don’t know what to do anymore, and I may be over anaylizng this. But any advice would help!¬†

—scaredtolosehim

Dearest Scaredtolosehim,
Almost every relationship begins with a period where the endorphins are running strong and high, and that phase does come to an end at some point. Not because our feelings change, but because, as you guessed, the couple becomes comfortable in their own pace and stability. While I don’t think any relationship should be taken for granted, you did also mention that is really stressed with work.

In the world of male pride having a relationship and having a good job are both up there pretty high. Stresses from work and relationship, are the things that are going to effect a man’s emotional state before anything else. If he’s really stressed about work, let him talk about it. Maybe he needs to find a way to get a better job. If it’s really stress that is bugging him, support him through, help him find ways to de-stress and get back a little of what you had before. This is would I do first.
If you are having that gut feeling that something is really wrong, don’t ignore it. Have the patience to get to the bottom of things without causing loads of drama for yourself.

Lindsay


I am dating a man who is separated from his wife for many years. He and his ex have a daughter together.
We started dating only 6 months ago and NO I’m not having sex with him until his divorce is finalized. I do don’t want to have sex with him because God Forbid I get pregnant, I definitely DON’T want to raise a child in this drama. I have never been married and I have no children. My child deserves better. He said that he didn’t get a divorce before because he just didn’t have a reason to until I came into the picture.
I would ideally like a man who also has never been married and has no children. But, I feel in love with him. It hasn’t been easy. He says that he wants to be involved in the little girl’s life because he helped raise her but the woman won’t let him. The house in which he lives in is also at her name and I’m not sure if he will be responsible for paying child support, since the child is legally his even if he’s not the biological father. I want to hear some advice on this situation. Should I just walk away or should I wait for him to get the divorce? He’s a good man with a good heart but his situation drives me crazy and I wonder if it’s even worth it?
–Arockandhardplace

Dearest Arockandahardplace,
There is no ring on your finger, you need to look out for yourself and your own future. It sounds like he is really tied up in his own drama and situation. He could have gotten divorced at any time, and he would have rights to visitation or maybe even custody if he pursued them. He might be responsible for paying child support, if the child’s mother files for it and the child remains with her. Those are the facts. But he needs to make some decisions. What is he going to fight for? He, and you, cannot live in a state of suspended living forever.
You might decide to not walk away, but do start asserting your own terms on this relationship because it seems like he isn’t going to change unless someone makes him. I don‚Äôt’ think anyone should MAKE anyone do anything, but you have to get in touch with your own boundaries and expectations and stick with them, because you are worth, because you NEED it. This is his drama, not yours. How much are you willing to live it with him?

 

Got a different opinion or been in the same spot before? What would you like to tell these people about their particular challenges? Leave comments to add to this discussion!

If you think Lindsay’s advise was spot on, and need a little relationship or self-work, then book a complimentary introductory session today!

If you have a question you would like to ask Lindsay, fill out the form below! I want to hear your questions about love, relationships, confidence, inner struggles, dreams, and feeling good!  Your confidentiality will always be maintained!

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Stress and Stress management power-ups

stress and stress managementThis week’s power up topic is stress and stress management. Stress is a tricky thing to wrangle or fight against. But when it comes down to bare bones, stress should never be battled. ¬†It is through self-esteem and the power of your own choices, that the voice of fear and stress becomes just another voice in the crowd.

Video 1: What does your stress feel like?
Article: The basics of stress
Video 2: ¬†Is your stress…?
Tools and resources: Tools and tips for Stress
Video 3: Where’s the power?

Stress Management- Video 3

Stress management

Here’s part 3 of my¬†stress and stress management series. Stress is a tricky thing to wrangle or fight against. But when it comes down to bare bones, stress should never be battled. ¬†It is through self-esteem and the power of your own choices., that the voice of fear and stress becomes just another voice in the crowd.

Today I’m going to tell you a little bit about my story of stress, stress management, anxiety and panic.

 

 

Download or stream the podcast of my story about stress today!

 

If you need help with this material or know this that is something you absolutely NEED to do for yourself then book an Intuitive coaching session with me today!

 

Go back to the Stress Management index