Today Gabby introduces her readers to a gratitude exercise and in the beginning it’s fairly routine for what you would expect from woo woo self-help book. The focus is on how things, no matter where you are in the moment, in the day, is full of things to be grateful for. But as she begins to talk about the evening exercise, her tone shifts. Each day’s topic is broken up into section, something to do in the morning, something to do in the afternoon, and something to do in the evening. What I have been writing here isn’t the full breath of what she asks, in these posts I’ve been talking about how I perceive the material, where I meet it, where I can add my experience to the topics. In the evening exercise of this day, Gabby asks us to consider how we can be grateful for our fears. Now there is so much I can write about this, so much of this I actually look to everyday already. But so much of it is deeply personal, and well…so innate, it appears multifaceted. One root fear as so many shades and twists, and they run into other fears or as Kate Courageous call them “psuedo-fears” (because real fear would be facing a tiger to falling from a building, but speaking in front of a crowd is a psuedo-fear, because there is nothing actually dangerous about doing it. The only danger in a psuedo-fear is the one ego and the mind create).
So, perhaps I will talk a little about the whole, instead of all the tiny pieces parts to fear or my fears. Going back to day 1, we need to remind ourselves that fear is False Evidence Appearing Real, in short, it’s totally created by our mind and by our ego. It’s all very natural though, it’s part of our survival mechanisms. These fears are designed to keep us safe….even if there is nothing really it’s keeping us safe from. The long and short of it, is that Fear exists to keep us from feeling hurt. While we could pretty use a reminder to keep in respect and gratitude to, let’s say a boss, should it really inspire Fear, or ideas that we are lacking or not worthy? For the most part, we all have our trigger issues. Some sensitives will have many more trigger issues about self worth than most. And this is why I do what I do, sensitives more focus on self worth in order to begin to get lessons on a good boundaries and shielding.
Our emotions, our feelings, our fears, and our thinking are never working against us. They are part of our natural design, but we have to realize their proper function. Our relationship to Fear can be healthy, when we understand that this part of ourselves is absolutely overprotective of our most tender parts.
Is the reaction always appropriate, No. Most times it’s exaggerated. A good dose of fact seeking and reality from a coach or BFF can help us see past the initial fear reaction.
Is it for he most part right? Sometimes. When we allow it to speak about the actual details of what’s going on, it can inform us of things we need to look out for.
Is your Fear mean, horrible, and just plain old abusive? Sometimes. Sometimes our relationship to fear is highly unhealthy. Sometimes we allow fear to beat us up, so that we can struggle and rebel against it, so that we can sabotage our work. But we can love our Fear, like we have learned to love an over-protective parent. We can acknowledge the message without getting triggered into emotional defense, and send love and gratitude that this part of ourselves is so in love with us.
How can you love and be grateful for your over-protective inner parent right now?