As I went about my holiday business this past year, I couldn't help but think about my forthcoming resolutions and what I wanted to see different in the coming year. For me, this past year was a year of resetting limits, expectations, and adjusting dreams and desired feeling states. Most of this was forced by external circumstances. I reframed what was happening, of course. I made the best out of the lemons that were thrown at me. For all that, I still didn't feel like the year was "good", much less "the best ever".
But this year I want to make resolutions that mean something more than just numbers and milestones. I want next year to be the year I actually feel good about my life. While I'm sure I can stand to lose a few pounds, work a little harder to bring money in, or be a little more organized (who couldn't!), I know those words and wants aren't going to cut it.
Three months from now I would be off track from my goals so far that I will just forget about them out of my normal cut my losses routine. I will try to forget I ever wanted to change anything because I haven't accomplished what I said I wanted. And why wouldn't I do something I wanted to do?? Why wouldn't I be able to make the changes I think I need to make in order to feel better, do better, and live better??
Sounds self-defeating, right?
Want vs. Desire
Thing is, I only want those things, the easy parts of weight loss, extra cash and so forth. They aren't going to drive me through the process of change because what I have to do to get there isn't appealing at all to me. Those wants really aren't strong enough to push me through the little steps I have to take along the way.
You and me, we're going to have a little deeper into our desires in order to find the powerful feelings that will propel us to make all the small changes want and need to make!
Is your goal for losing weight really about the pounds or the clothing size? Or is your goal more about how you want to feel about yourself, your body, and your health? Is it really that you want more money? Or is it that you want to feel more secure about your finances and options for the future? And can you honestly say when you will feel accomplished for reaching these kinds of goals? Or that losing weight or getting more money will actually make you feel the way thought it would?
What does that little voice in the back of your mind say about the goals and all the little steps along the way? Is it a good feeling...and here I'm not talking about the excitement of beginning something new, of feeling "resolved" to do something? Here I want to know if all those small steps excite or allow you to feel joy or relief that you finally have a handle on your challenges?
Is that little voice kind of "meh" about your intended goal, or is it sure that this is really going to be the year you do it? If you're feeling a little "Meh" or even "yeah, right", then maybe it's time to get your goals in line with your soul and with your e desires! It's time to shift your resolutions into a "hell, yes!"
Think about this, at the end of the year, you are sitting going through your pictures of all the things you did, all the memorable moments, the successes, all the things you would be so excited to put into your end of year family newsletter.
Here are a few questions to get started!
- This past year was amazing because I finally felt_________.
- Accomplishing these things ___________ this past year, made me feel______________!