My whole approach to psychic self-defense is a bit inside out from what you might used to hearing.
While most sources will say that you need to begin building shields and incorporating filters into your energy system in order to win the battle against negativity, I think shields and filter are more detrimental to our well-being than they help. Shielding is based in fear level thinking. It presumes we have to live behind a wall in order to be able to deal with the world, that somehow "out there" there is a horrible, dangerous, poisonous world which must be avoided at all costs. Perhaps you don't view the whole world this way, maybe there are just some people out there that are hateful and full anger, and you don't want to catch what they have. But it separates us, it allows us to keep believing that we CAN be separate from each other, that we are not already in "oneness" or parts of a whole.
Now I mention shielding here not because it's the only answer to negativity, but that it seems to be the most common. I've already written about it shielding, and you can see that article here, so let's focus in on why we absorb negativity in the first place. We do "absorb negativity" for the same the reasons we think we need to shield, but for different ends.
We absorb negativity for two reasons, sometimes single, sometimes in combination:
- We are acting of base insecurity in self and lack of enough-ness, "I need to be healer so I must bear this pain", or even "If this person can't be happy, then I shouldn't appear happy either," "people might think I don't care", or "I deserve to live with this mess because it's all that ever seems to be attracted to me". Or even simply, "maybe they are right and I am messed up."
- We are trying to heal by taking something away from another. We treat emotional pain as if it's a broken toy we can fix or replace and then give back to someone, so they feel whole and new again. But we never really "take" or "absorb" something from someone else. Like trying to save a drowning person, we dive right in with them or physically try to haul them out of their predicament. In either case, we leave our place of centered and power. But we cannot fix people in that way. We might be modeling a healing process of technique, but everyone must always heal themselves, we each must make the choice be whole. As empaths, we are incredible emotion mimics, sometimes to the point we think it's our own natural reaction.
In the energetic reality, we can never really give another person our energy, nor can they take our energy. Each one of us is a being of infinite light and energy living within a reality of infinite light and energy. But in conflict, what we perceive as having energy stolen from us, is when we agree with the other person that we are most likely less than who we really are. In that agreement, even if subconsciously, we disconnect, shrink, contract, from the fullness of our Divine selves. When we contract, we experience a sense of disconnection and energy loss. But it was never the other person who stole energy. The other person, believing they are on a roll, believing in their righteousness, is expanding their energy. Not because they took it from us, but because they are simply allowing more energy to bolster them, because they believe they are justified. The problem lies in what we believe about ourselves in that moment.
What works the best is being whole unto ourselves, having our soul-centered and welcome in our bodies. When we come into a high energy state we tend to see the world a little differently, and not through the lens of our pain and judgments, as we usually do. Instead, of experiencing the emotion with them, we see the pain in others, the root of their behavior. And like a mother seeking to soothe a hurt child, our fields expanding, we channel pure love. And this energy has a weight and field all it's own, and it is impenetrable by darkness.
Here's a quick little video I made all about how to stop absorbing negativity!
Isn't it time to get your fierce on?