Introduction to shifting hard emotions: Emotional Mastery series

In the space of one year my life had almost completely fallen to pieces. I’m not even exaggerating. I spent months on end on the point of breaking. My family was no longer what I thought it was. Forced lifestyle changes killed the business I had had. Court hearings, lawyers, money flying out the door. Then we lost our primary source of income.  I spent months in deep resentment, anger, gnashing my teeth at the world and the various sources of of my angst. I thought I had lost everything, basically, and I didn’t know who I was anymore. Very little got better on it's own with time.

There is a point where I realized all my internal feelings didn’t mean squat. Feeling all those feels so deeply every single time they came up didn’t change anything, or if it did change something, it didn’t change for the better. Acting from that pain place never got me the results I wanted or expected. But I still didn’t know how to heal from it, how to let go, how to find comfort and peace within myself from all that had gone askew. All I really knew was that staying in that active grieving/anger stage was going to kill me and everything I loved right along with it.


I realized that if I had any chance of creating a life I really wanted to stand up for at some point in the future, then I had to start getting a grip. I knew there was no way to simply stop feeling. The more I was able to simply sit still my pain feelings, the more guidance I heard about that feeling. But now I had two conflicting voices in my head. One voice for all the world sounded like “realistic”, if not pessimistic.The other voice sounded like “hope”. I so wanted to resist hope, I didn’t want to set myself for more pain. But I did tell hope, “Maybe. Probably not today, or even this week. But there will be movement on this at some point.”

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even fear and heavy emotions are sources of guidance and strength

Even fear and heavy emotions are sources of guidance and strength.

Even fear and heavy emotions are sources of guidance and strength. Click To Tweet

That "maybe: changed everything. The change wasn’t instant. It wasn’t all healing. But in retrospect, I see is that I was opening the door to deeper guidance. That sense of hope, it wasn’t just another opinion in my mind. It was Divine guidance, an intuitive hit, a precognition of how a potential could play out. I had resisted because I didn’t recognize it as Truth. I thought it was wishful thinking, based on my desire to have everything feel resolved and harmonious again. But it was long-term plan guidance, maybe not today. Things were heading in that direction, maybe not tomorrow, but I have to prepare myself to meet this potential.


I also resisted. I thought accepting the situation as it was, would mean that I accepted an outcome I didn't or wouldn't like. I now see perfectly how that was fear talking smack. That knowledge helps me to see how fear might be talking smack in my present. This isn’t about ignoring your feelings or burying them. It’s about being present with them and knowing that you still need to make choices. It’s about being able to say, “if my anger isn’t getting this situation better, what will? And what do I need in order move through this shit, cuz I want to be flowing, not stuck?”

myths about emotional mastery

Being sensitive doesn’t mean we are meant to suffer. Our emotions aren’t meant to weigh us down or rule our lives. They are sacred. They are guidance. But they aren’t the part of you that has to make the powerful, life-changing decisions you need to make in order to rise and grow.


It’s time to learn how to fierce and sensitive, true to your feelings, yet ready to create change.


As we continue in this series on Emotional mastery, we'll take a deeper look at how our deep feelings are actually the source of strength and personal magick in this life.

What is Grounding?

What is grounding

We’ll be talking all about the practice of Grounding this month. You’re in for a treat because the guidance I received about grounding is not only timely to 2016 end of year but it’s such a twist, so different from what you would expect that it will leave you wondering what you thought you knew before. I’m not here to totally redefine everything you thought you knew about the basics. But I think these deeper dives into how the basics actually work are inspired by all the shifts and waves of awakenings that are happening.

It’s not the practices are changing, but we are called to understand our very nature and intuitive instincts on a much more soul deep level. Soon enough I don’t think it’s going to be enough to get by on what we used to know, the world is changing so fast and so fundamentally with each awakening that we all need to anchor in these new energies as soon as we can. And that my brilliant bright lights, is the very nature of grounding.

Traditional view of grounding: An exercise, usually a form of meditation, that helps one move excess spiritual energy from the body to the Earth to promote a sense of calmness and serenity. Sometimes this is done through other activities like taking a walk, sex, or even eating. 

New Idea around Grounding: Taking in Divine Energies and making them manifest here in the Earth plane.

Grounding: Taking in Divine Energies and making them manifest here in the Earth plane. Click To Tweet

Before I sat down and began downloading the guidance around grounding for this month, I still wrestled with the idea of grounding being, essentially, plugging one’s self into Earth and letting energy flow back up and out. Yes, on a very basic level that is what seemed to be happening. Yet my big question was what energy are we actually get rid of and why is there to begin with?

So I poked around in some groups online to see what the consensus was. It seemed like most people’s idea of grounding revolved around ridding ones self of negativity and anxiety and also recharging the system.  

But isn’t that basically cleansing? In most metaphysical books, grounding, centering, and cleansing three entirely separate practices?! Most times in books, authors tell you to ground after doing energy  work, ritual, and so forth because you might have taken in too much energy during your practice. There is this underlying belief here that “too much” energy can make us feel flighty, anxious, and restless. This says nothing about grounding be a cleansing practice. This line of thinking was getting me questions than answers. And what does “too much energy” actually mean?


Is grounding only about ridding ourselves of negativity, depression, anxiety, or excess energies?

I don’t think so. 

What is this “too much energy” we all experience that we need these practices for? If we can experience this “too much energy” state after ritual, energy work, or even while we’re in the creative flow, isn’t what we’re talking about Divine energy?

And Divine energy isn’t just a force, like electricity. It’s an intelligent, conscious wave. It’s love and wisdom, and all good things rolled into one…and we can’t have too much of that??? We can certainly have more than we are used to from the baseline of a given day. But can we really have too much Love?? For a person who comes from an energy medicine background, to me, this is like asking can a fish take in too much water! Turns out a fish can’t drown in regular water. I can only drown in water that doesn’t have enough oxygen in it, so when something is off about the H2O mix. Otherwise a fish is good to whatever is going on in the ocean around it, just as we normally do in the oceans of energy we live in.

There is also an underlying belief behind the idea of traditional grounding, which implies that spiritual people should not experience highs or lows. That highs and lows are s not natural in a sense and can even be harmful. This isn’t truth though, this is perfectionism at work. It’s ego thinking, not Divine wisdom. We can’t consistently live from a high or low state, we end up burning out or bottoming out. But certainly our capacity to feel and hold high and low vibes state would ebb and flow, just like everything else in the Universe, right?


Are you saying I shouldn’t try to get rid of negativity or feeling bad?

Yes and no. I’m of the the mind that all feelings are sacred messages. Even anxiety and depression. They are naturally occurring things that happen to being of light who have bodies on this plane. These experiences are part of collective, part of our Oneness. I don’t think one should hold onto or give special significance to a random experience of depression or anxiety, sometimes it’s a fleeting thing. It’s when we have cyclical patterns of these feelings, that makes ego stand up and ask the big question “what’s wrong with us?”

That’s ego’s job. It asks the questions that will keep us alive. But all it really is, is an alarm system alerting us there could be a potential threat…could be. We need that alarm system, even if it’s a little overzealous at times. So why are we trying to give it away? Shouldn’t be learning more how to turn the alarm system back to maintenance mode when we realize we aren’t actually dying this very second? You don’t chuck your smoke detector because it goes off after you’ve burned dinner. You simply silence the alarm for the time being. 

But we think all those feels MEAN something really important, and so we hold on them. We poke at them, analyze them to death. But we never seem to get around to simply turning the ringer off or adjusting the alarm sensitivity. I think we do what we do because we don’t like how depression and anxiety feel, and that we’re just trying to stabilize, so I’m certainly not picking on anyone. But what would happen if we learned more about how to work that alarm system?


So why was grounding so important and what is it exactly??

Most times when we are using a recorded meditation all these practices we’re talking about are all combined into one easy to use tool, the recording itself.  We’re flowing from one practice to the other without really thinking about it. Most modern meditations will use relaxation and opening to the light to center and clear. Centering and Cleansing are what really help us through negativity and anxiety. When we come to center, hear and feel soul and it’s guidance, be in that love state, then fear-base thinking evaporates. And once we have clarity, from centering, about what feelings and energies are actually our own, we can effectively do our cord cuttings and white light love purges of things we might have picked up and held on to but weren’t authentic to us.

Through centering and cleansing we get tapping into on the wisdom and love of Guidance, Soul, Guides, Higher self, Truth the Universe, Divinity…however you think of it.

And guidance can’t live only within our brains and energy fields forever.

Guidance’s ultimate destiny is to be shared. If we don’t embrace it, it moves on to someone who is ready to act and move with it or we are stuck in a repeating pattern till we embrace it.

And in order to be shared, in needs to come through our system and enter the Earth plane…it needs to be grounded. WE don’t need to be grounded Earth, we are of Earth, already within it’s energies. The Divine Guidance needs to be rooted and anchored into this physical world. It needs to be made manifest, to be turned into something “real”. This isn’t always done through meditation, sometimes the only real way to ground that energy is to take inspired action.

grounding through inspired action


To bring this back down the practical, my loves…

What it it that is dying to come out of when we get into center?

What ideas and inspiration keep coming back to you when you center?

What will you ground into the Earth plane i order to make a little Heaven on Earth?


Declare it in the comments below and so it will be, dearest souls!!


Don’t forget this article is just part of a series on Grounding! You can find the rest of the series, “How does grounding work?” here and “Do you need improve your grounding practice?”, here.

13 Signs of being Centered

13 signs of being centered

In my  line of work I talk about lot about “the basics” of empathic and intuitive mastery, like grounding, getting centered, and how to thrive without shields. It’s mostly because the deeper I go into these foundations, the more realize that they haven’t bee explained or talked about nearly enough to for us to really “get it”. So many people say the same things over and over about these practices without getting down to what is actually working or how they work it. The more awakened and souled I become, the more these foundational skills just keep giving. I started this series on centering at the beginning of the month to really explore what my soul knows and feels about this one practice. If you are starting with post, you can look at the others here and here!

Here’s some of the ideas we’ve already covered, so everyone can be on the same page!

  • Centering is not quieting your mind, letting the light, grounding into Earth, or collecting your thoughts or energy.
  • Centering is allowing soul back into the physical, creating a safe space and environment in the the physical for Soul to come home to.
  • Nothing is required beyond creating the time and space to make internal peace and quiet that makes body irresistible to soul.
  • The big reason we are uncentered usually revolves around not feeling safe enough, stable enough, worthy enough to accept our own Divinity. We have created separation between soul and physical reality…at least in our minds.


The practice of centering is coming back to the recognition that we are meant to carry the power and wisdom of soul and source connection into our physical reality. We are meant to have that power, sacredness, insight, and level of perception. That power only exists in the moment, and we can tap into it more fully when we are clear. So learning to hear wisdom vs. ego in the moment is a huge part of the process.  That difference was the topic of last week’s blog article, which you can find here! The whole idea  can be summed up like this:

If some thoughts and feelings make you feel bad, afraid, ashamed, worried, then it’s NOT Divine Wisdom and Love.

To be centered is to be open and in moment with Divine Love.

To be centered is to be open and in moment with Divine Love. Click To Tweet

When I first centered fully with Soul, mind, and body in alignment, true, deep alignment, I instantly saw what I  had been doing to myself. I saw how I held myself back, going in silly circles of thought, and that thought had nothing to do with the outside world. It was all internal. And I also saw how wisdom had been guiding me my entire life. I saw the pattern clearly, of how at each little junction point I heard clearly what the answer was. I understood that all those times I chose to feed fear instead of listening deeper I had only been holding myself back. And I saw in all that I was loved and cherished, not because I finally got it right, but because I kept trying, seeking, asking for wisdom. In the past, it had only been my awareness and expectation of what guidance was that kept me from fully recognizing it.

What we usually associate with centering are actually the steps we can take in order to get centered. Quieting the mind does help in the process of inviting soul in because soul likes peace. When we are peaceful within ourselves we can align more quickly. Gathering our thoughts or energy can help for the same reasons, as most of thought is not truly ours. Learning to practice gathering true self, what YOU actually think and feel, can also help toward centering. Meditating can help do those things we just talked about, and so also can be be a good gateway to getting centered. But none of these things in and of themselves are actually centering.

Let’s get back to the practical though, being centered feels like:

  1. I feel powerfully aligned with the tasks I need to do to fulfill my life purpose.
  2. Heart feel open, full of love, even when thinking of a challenge.
  3. I feel empowered and ready, yet fully relaxed, breathing calmly from my belly.
  4. Able to hold or work with more energy than “normal”.
  5. The perfect solution seems possible.
  6. Able to provide self-love and assurance to shift from negative, ego-thinking and limitations.
  7. Easier to consider pushing my boundaries of my comfort zone.
  8. Open sense, no spiraling or cyclical thought, sense of expansion.
  9. Seeing, knowing, sensing the perfectness of the moment or even next step.
  10. Easily able to see the difference between ego thinking and true wisdom.
  11. Able to give self permission to “feel good” even if tired, sore, ill, feeling a little down, dealing with a bout of negativity.
  12. My core has been activated and my actions and love clearly create ripples out into time/space
  13. Sensing my own energy and aura breathing and moving around me.


The 13 signs of being centered

Centering isn’t about make one shift a day or every so often.  Nor is it about hitting each of the 13 points that I experience, all the time or building up to that over time. Centering is a practice of continually coming back to our truest self over and over with each breath and moment. It is the practice that give us the time and space to release all that holds us back from being co-creators, strong and Divine in our own light.  Part of the mastery of this process should be about naming and recognizing how you know you are actually centered in Divine Source and Soul level being.

To help get you started, here are some actions that can help you consistently create that time and space:

  • Making time to be creative, allowing our flows to guide mind and body to create something new and beyond us.
  • Ritual work, so that soul, mind, and body can work in alignment.
  • Dreaming and Daydreaming, allowing soul and wisdom play in potentials.
  • Meditation to quiet the mind and create the peace that Soul adores and wants to fill.
  • Sex or orgasims to fill ourselves with higher vibes and love to attract soul in deeper
  • Actively giving self love to fill ourselves with higher vibes and love to attract soul in deeper
  • Gardening or doing the dishes because these can be meditations to quiet the mind too.
  • Spiritual or self work to see ego’s thinking more clearly
  • Taking a bath or shower because that can be a good time to get really present and release thought.

But the number one thing you need in order to really “get” centered and centering is the willingness to come into the space where you can have the unconditional love that you need, that you have always craved.  That willingness is the key, no matter what physical actions you might be doing.

In the comments below, I hope you will take the chance to explore what might be keeping you from intentionally centering into the state of unconditional love!!


Feeling the love?

Feeling the love

Are you feeling the love for the world around you? 

It’s hard to do, right? 

But it all comes down how you feel. Do you feel loved and loving? Do you feel supported and supporting?

One doesn’t come without the other, it really does all begin with you, and me.
It begins with becoming aware of how we need to feel and doing what it takes to make it right for ourselves by changing ourselves and how view “the problem”.

When you will finally be ready to make the commitment to yourself, to feel better, to be better, to just be…you?

When will it be time to stop struggling with the life others tell you should have, and start living the life you know will support you, will nourish you, will bring you into a better place?

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