Introduction to shifting hard emotions: Emotional Mastery series

There are so many ideas and myths out there about what emotional mastery looks and feels like, that I wanted to take the time to set some things straight. I'm starting with a little of my story. As we go through this series, we'll take a look at why emotional master is so important, what it really means, and how to begin working with your emotions on a whole new level.


In the space of one year my life had almost completely fallen to pieces. I’m not even exaggerating. I spent months on end on the point of breaking. My family was no longer what I thought it was. Forced lifestyle changes killed the business I had had. Court hearings, lawyers, money flying out the door. Then we lost our primary source of income.  I spent months in deep resentment, anger, gnashing my teeth at the world and the various sources of of my angst. I thought I had lost everything, basically, and I didn’t know who I was anymore. Very little got better on it's own with time.

There is a point where I realized all my internal feelings didn’t mean squat. Feeling all those feels so deeply every single time they came up didn’t change anything, or if it did change something, it didn’t change for the better. Acting from that pain place never got me the results I wanted or expected. But I still didn’t know how to heal from it, how to let go, how to find comfort and peace within myself from all that had gone askew. All I really knew was that staying in that active grieving/anger stage was going to kill me and everything I loved right along with it.


I realized that if I had any chance of creating a life I really wanted to stand up for at some point in the future, then I had to start getting a grip. I knew there was no way to simply stop feeling. The more I was able to simply sit still my pain feelings, the more guidance I heard about that feeling. But now I had two conflicting voices in my head. One voice for all the world sounded like “realistic”, if not pessimistic.The other voice sounded like “hope”. I so wanted to resist hope, I didn’t want to set myself for more pain. But I did tell hope, “Maybe. Probably not today, or even this week. But there will be movement on this at some point.”

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even fear and heavy emotions are sources of guidance and strength

Even fear and heavy emotions are sources of guidance and strength.

Even fear and heavy emotions are sources of guidance and strength. Click To Tweet

That "maybe: changed everything. The change wasn’t instant. It wasn’t all healing. But in retrospect, I see is that I was opening the door to deeper guidance. That sense of hope, it wasn’t just another opinion in my mind. It was Divine guidance, an intuitive hit, a precognition of how a potential could play out. I had resisted because I didn’t recognize it as Truth. I thought it was wishful thinking, based on my desire to have everything feel resolved and harmonious again. But it was long-term plan guidance, maybe not today. Things were heading in that direction, maybe not tomorrow, but I have to prepare myself to meet this potential.


I also resisted. I thought accepting the situation as it was, would mean that I accepted an outcome I didn't or wouldn't like. I now see perfectly how that was fear talking smack. That knowledge helps me to see how fear might be talking smack in my present. This isn’t about ignoring your feelings or burying them. It’s about being present with them and knowing that you still need to make choices. It’s about being able to say, “if my anger isn’t getting this situation better, what will? And what do I need in order move through this shit, cuz I want to be flowing, not stuck?”

myths about emotional mastery

Being sensitive doesn’t mean we are meant to suffer. Our emotions aren’t meant to weigh us down or rule our lives. They are sacred. They are guidance. But they aren’t the part of you that has to make the powerful, life-changing decisions you need to make in order to rise and grow.


It’s time to learn how to fierce and sensitive, true to your feelings, yet ready to create change.


As we continue in this series on Emotional mastery, we'll take a deeper look at how our deep feelings are actually the source of strength and personal magick in this life.

Weekly Guidance: May 29th, 2017: Don’t fear the deep waters of Soul and feeling.

Last week was such a breath of fresh air! The past month I had to be very conscious of centering in, but now that the energy has more fully shifted toward Gemini, I feel myself coming back into easy alignment.  The Taurus energy of last month pushed me hard to get into alignment with my own value, and to be staunchly bullish in my knowing that even if I don't know everything (who does?) that my voice and light are can still help others.

This week will start a little rocky, but when Mercury enters Cancer on Thursday we're going to have a chance for our words and our feeling to feel alignment. This is going to start a month and a half long emotional detox for us, of course coming to climax at the end of the month when the Sun and Super New Moon also enter Cancer. While there might be some intense days ahead because emotions get stirred up so they can be detoxed, generally speaking this month is about coming home to our emotional center and core. So it's no wonder that the Home card came up from the Enchanted Map Deck.

With Justice and the Butterfly Maiden drawn for this week, we will be an introduction to this emotional detox energy. Seek it from the perspective of transformation and re-balance. Justice should also remind us that if it's happening for us, then a similar thing is happening to another...just perhaps in a different way or aspect. Judgement of others will not serve us this month. Instead this should be an inward journey to discover how to better walk our talk and follow our passion.

This month brings our Super New Moon cycle to a close and mama moon is guiding us strongly. As the month continues Neptune will go retrograde to help us delve more deeply in the realm of deep hidden waters. This week is going to start bringing this alignment home and the change of pace from outward shine to inward shine is going to be a welcome change!!

Cards drawn

Butterfly Maiden- Transformation

Follow the Moon



Thought of the week

Don't fear the deep waters of Soul and feeling. They are the source of your empowerment. 

Don't fear the deep waters of Soul and feeling. They are the source of your empowerment. Click To Tweet

What does this mean for your biz?

This week begins a month where a business Goddess and activated Lightworker can take stock of their offerings and their client relationships. 

How can they brought more in alignment with your Divine essence?

Who is really part of your tribe? Who are business allies?

How can you put relationships before sales in a balanced way?


As we look toward what clients might need more focus on, you might find them thinking about

  •  Making plans for the next few months. Support around planned growth and sustainable growth might bring you a bump in income.
  • Course correction or life transition support might also be trending.
  • On top of all this dreamy, emotional goodness this month, it's also the beginning of summer for a lot of people. So retreats, whether virtual or in-person will be a hot commodity. 


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Weekly Guidance: Feb. 6th, 17: Being a spiritual warrior and anger as guidance

Weekly Guidance: Feb. 6th, 17: Get in touch with your spiritual warrior


There are so big ass myths out there that spiritual people shouldn’t be having negative emotions. Spiritual people shouldn’t hate, shouldn’t get angry, and shouldn’t lower themselves to value money, right?

No. It’s rubbish plain and simple.

While it’s a good goal to generally aim for peace of mind, sometimes you’re going to get mad, sad, and/or feel like burning down your life. We are human, we will always be human, even after we awaken to our spiritual nature. That spiritual nature, at least right now, involves us having a body on this physical plane…and that means we’re going to get emotional. Every emotion is a source of guidance. Emotions are guidance that will lead us back to center and more deeply into our authenticity, so long as we don’t get stuck. This will be the challenge of the week ahead.

While Full Moons usually bring an energy of creation and fruition, the eclipses are bringing us a different energy this month. How will you balance the dynamic and passionate energy of Kali-ma, demon slayer, in your life this week? What will the fiery sword of release from your life? What will a more compassionate approach bring instead?

Being a spiritual warrior isn’t about angry actions, protesting, or revenge. It’s about being strong enough to take “right action” (think Buddhism here). It can be more about apologizing for your actions or judgments, than about holding others to your standards. Two wrongs will never make something right, so while your anger or zealousness this week might have you considering drastic actions, do remember that the first knee -jerk reaction you have is usually one based on an exaggeration of the situation at hand. Being a spiritual warrior can mean taking a breath or two, or ten, before reacting.

While there is a call to balance out our darker emotions this week, sometimes without getting angry things won’t change. The fact that you might experience anger means there is something to heal, something that is calling for change. Use that fiery energy wisely!


Cards drawn this week: Queen of Cups, Balancing act, Embrace the dark

Your fiery anger is Divine Guidance. Use it wisely to create change and action.

Your fiery anger is Divine Guidance. Use it wisely to create change and action. Click To Tweet

Your fiery anger is Divine Guidance. Use it wisely to create change and action.

How can I stay centered, be less emotional?

how can I be less emotional?


Dear Lindsay,

I recently discovered that I’m an empath. I always thought something was wrong with me, how my mood changes when someone walks in the matter where I am and how water calms me, I can feel others moods and the list goes on. How can I stay centered, be less emotional?

–Whirling Emotions


Dear Whirling Emotions,

I’m so glad to answer this question. I’m not sure an empath can actually be less emotional, but we can grow in our understanding of what we are experiencing and why. We learn to tell the difference between what we are feeling (the important stuff) and what other’s are feeling (the not so essential stuff to us). That understanding alone can help us to feel less emotionally reactive to all the external stuff. And there is a a lot more external stuff that will trigger us.

First off, I want to explain that if we begin reacting to another’s emotions, it’s because we have already received some kind of information from them, either through body language, intuitions, or sheer empathic connection. Part of understanding the information comes from recognizing that we empath’s have a natural tendency to “read” everything that comes into our field of vision or awareness. We seem to be naturally curious, whether it’s for reasons of compassion or self-preservation, and so we by default and without real conscious thought read…and there for pick on, anything that comes our way. So the first step to getting a bit of control is to being to be aware of when you are reading into someone or something.


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My emotions are a super secret power!


The goal understanding our “reading into” ability is to become proficient enough in knowing when you are reading and picking something up to make the conscious choice to continue or not. If you realize you are reading into something, you will be able to come to a point where you can say, “It’s not my business, this person isn’t confiding in me simply by walking into the room.” I can almost guarantee that this person never consented or wanted to be read, just because they walked into a space you were in. This simple technique can cut out most unintentional re-activeness. “This is not my business” is an excellent mantra for this stage of empathic awareness. You and the other person will definitely know when the read should happen, so that means you don’t actually NEED to delve into the energy of others on a daily basis. Only when it was meant to be!

Do not for an instant, believe that using “not my business” makes you less caring or mean. To the averagely sensitive person, we are almost always over-caring.  So learning to mind our own empathic business, simply allows us to have some sort of normalcy. This, in part, is what people mean when they say you need to work on your boundaries. Additional boundary work might include being able to say “no”, and learning different ways to disengage when you are pressed for something.


My emotions are a super secret power! Click To Tweet


The other thing that sensitives and empaths do when they read into another’s energy and emotional state is they mirror what they perceive. Most times for the beginner, it happens so fast and naturally that we assume a negative or angry personal spread their negativity to us! As if it were some kind of plague! But our mood shift happened because saw something we recognized in the other person’s state of being, like how we start speaking with an accent when we hear it.  While our mind might come up some good reasons as why we should be angry once we feel it, the original emotion we mirrored really isn’t authentic to us. 

Most times I can recognize an emotion I’m mirroring by stopping and asking myself “who do I sound like?” and “Do I really, actually believe all that?”  A mirrored emotion isn’t something we can process and deal with, like our own emotions. It’s a patterning we picked up from an external source, and the energy and emotions ricochet around your system until you can release it. I still pick up panic-worry patterns from my mom. A few days after I see her when she’s worrying, my mind has concocted a bazillion reasons why I should feel panicked or worried….”what did I miss??” But when I catch something in my mind that sounds like it came from my mom, I can release it and re-center back into what I actually think and feel. 

Dealing with just my own emotions is challenging enough. Having to try to deal with emotions triggered by mirroring or reading into things, makes emotional mastery seem impossible. It’s time to cut down the amount of work and pressure we’re putting on ourselves. But the cultural “rule” that we HAVE to care and know what everyone is feeling and thinking or we’re mean, bad, or insensitive is a modern concept. It’s not something we can actually accomplish either. There is no way to prevent someone from getting upset or insulted, no matter how sensitive we are. It’s their choice. Their emotional reaction and reflection of their beliefs and blocks. It’s not our job to heal everyone, and if we are getting hung up on that “rule”, it’s more guilt and ego talking than soul guidance. It’s our job to heal ourselves, tend our light, and shine brightly.

Here are some of questions I use to help get back into emotional center

emotional mastery checks


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