I can understand why people think the idea of having a soulmate is amazing. We all feel the need to be understood and loved so completely that we feel good and whole and confident. But there are some myths about soulmates and soulmate relationships out there that can damage our sense of self and self-worth, so much so, that I would consider them to be a form of self-abuse.
Myth #1: Soulmates are romantic in nature
It is a bit of a misunderstanding that having a soul mates automatically means having a perfect romantic relationship. Most of our relationships are things that were “meant to be” on one level or another, and so would fall under the definition of soul groups and soul mates. In fact, all relationships should be looked from the perspective of soul bonds. Another misconception is that all soul mate relationships should work into marriage. But even with soulmates, there is no guarantee of any of that.
Myth #2: Soulmates are perfect
Soulmates are people. They have bad days, pet peeves, flaws, and vices, just like you. Someone may seem like a perfect match for you because they complement your strengths and weakness, but no one should be expected to be perfect or happy or self-sacrificing just for you or your relationship. People are who they are.
Myth #3: A soulmate will complete you
No one person will ever complete you. You are the only person/soul that can complete you. Do not confuse love and soulmates with being co-dependent. You are whole, capable, amazing being all on your own, and if you feel less than that, it’s time to begin some self-work and clearing of limiting, false beliefs, and a good dose of self-care. In fact, I have coaching packages that will help with that!
Myth #4: Soulmates are meant to be together no matter what
A soul mate relationship can be like a relationship with any other, you get what you give, and never make excuses or put up with those who demean or abuse you. There might be a few extra perks to having a soul mate relationship, whether romantic or platonic or even just a working relationship, like the ability to amplify each other’s energy and abilities. There might even be a deeper level of understanding. But it could also be that you’re bonded because you both need to learn a hard lesson. That’s the nature of life lessons. Sometimes we might not even recognize a soul mate, other than in retrospect, because the lesson had to be learned before the idea comes to us.
Myth #5: Having a soulmate will fix everything
See myth #3. Adding a whole other person to your life is a complicated thing, even when it’s easy. Schedules have to mesh, cleaning habits, family backgrounds, income, long term goals….they all have to align in some way. That takes hashing things out and getting to the root of what is more important to each of us on a daily basis. We can’t wait around for someone to save us from our woes or make a choice so we can there make a choice for ourselves. We need to be actively participating in our lives, in our hashing out of the day to day, and in our life choices, in order to have things running smoothly. And we should be wanting to have things running smoothly for our own convenience, not someone else’s. It really quite amazing how our lives turn around, and how quickly it happens, when stop waiting for being saved, and we become our own heroes. And again, this is something I focus on my coaching, as sensitives, have a tendency to live from the outside in. We look for external validation when the only validation that is needed or true is right before our noses in our soul and connection to Divine source.You know you have a soulmate connection with someone when you feel a deep bond with that person. Click To Tweet
That’s it. Nothing more, nothing less. All deep bonds need to be treated with respect and loving care. Anything special thing about that bond is specific to the bond and should be honored for what it is, nothing more, nothing less. No relationship should be compared to any other, each are a unique expression of love (any type of love, agape, romantic, familial, etc…) between two (or more) Divine vessels of Source.
No relationship needs the added pressure of having to live up the standards, like that of the “perfect soulmate”. If you feel a deep connection, safely pursue it. Savor it. Be yourself and let the other person be themselves. Allow yourself to see the kinds of love you can feel. Let the relationship take the course it will, because in all honesty, time is the truest test.
Namely, be excellent to each other!
(Yes, a little Bill and Ted reference there. I can’t help my inner geek.)