How to know if you need some boundary work

Do you even have any idea what your boundaries are?

 

For Empaths and Intuitives, sometimes boundaries can be a tricky issue.  If you are stuck in caregiver, fix-it, or ultimate healer mode, then most likely your boundaries can use some strengthening. 

For me boundaries are the edges of our comfort zone, the space where our natural resilience or place of power rests. When we go through a dark night, period of low vibe, or even depression, our boundaries are going to be low as well. We won't have the natural buffer or tolerance for tackling challenges. But when are feeling good, flowing, and high-vibe, we can take more on and get more stuff down. Boundaries are directly related to how we feel!

Here are some common misconceptions about boundaries:

  • They are static, never changing: We change our minds and hearts many times in life. Our boundaries and comfort zones changes as we do. What might be a real problem for us, can see easy-peasey to deal with in our 30's. 
  • There is always one fixed boundary to hold: That is an ideal, not reality. Each day we wake in new situations, new energies, new circumstances. We can't expect our boundaries to always be in the same place, much like we can't always count on our emotions being in the same place. We have to learn to lean to what feels flowing and comfortable each day, and seek to expand a little outside our comfort zone when we're feeling a little contracted or it feels like our energy has shrunk.
  • Boundaries keep us safe: This is much like thinking a magick wall or bubble of energy will actually stop bad guys from hurting us. It doesn't work like that on this physical plane. Boundaries, like our emotions are signal for when we are in and out of comfort zone, no more, no less. It's important information to have, but it's not all that a lot of books about psychic protection make it out to be. 

Here are some quick tips to know if you need boundary work!!

How to know if you need more boundary work

 

You need boundary work if:

You feel overwhelmed

You need boundary work if:

You feel rushed or pushed to make a decision or response.

You need boundary work if:

You feel attacked, defensive, like someone is trying to blame, judge, or push their energy or opinion on you.

How to work with your boundaries:

  1. Recognize you are getting some boundaries signals.
  2. Identify what is being triggered in you, what emotions are you mirroring? What is the cause or fear you or the other person is reaction?
  3. Ask yourself whether you agree or disagree with the line of thought, conclusion, or judgment. Is the fear based on any facts whatsoever?
  4. Give their fear love, give yourself love, and bless the situation around their fear. Remember it might not be yours to fix, but if you can show them you understand their fear, you can usually diffuse the knee-jerk reaction taking place.

expand your boundaries

 

This technique works because it raises our vibe and keeps us from absorbing the other person's emotions, reality, and/or fear. Our boundaries get triggered because we feel we are about to lose something, our time, our energy, our sense of comfort. Most times we have a knee jerk reaction to that kind of thing. But if we can come into awareness about what is happening, we can center back into our comfort zone and start to expand our boundaries so we can handle more. Being able to receive more in life is one of the keys to manifestation that can accelerate your dreams!!!

Why can’t I trust my intuition??

Why can't I trust my intuition

Our bodies are amazing. We contain two opposing forces, Intuition and ego, the balance of which ensure we take the best action possible for our survival and growth.

....As long as we're coming from our balance of wholeness as integrated beings.

If  we're out of balance with our wholeness, ego and fear are going to:

  • Stop you in you tracks with analysis paralysis and confusion over details and "how" questions.
  • Distract you from the real work and healing that is needed.
  • Delay everything you've been trying to work for and manifest.

And you probably won't even realize that's what's happening because it will feel like:

  • Your doubts and confusion are justified.
  • You did the "next logical step", basically what everyone else does, and you can put your faith in following the herd and gaggles of teachers out there.
  • There is just something wrong with you, that you can't get the with program, stop being so sensitive, or that you can never seem to toughen up enough to make real head way.

 

But that is exactly when and why you need to put your integrated, whole, lightworker-self first.

Here's how I got Fiercely Sensitive and started really standing in my own light!!

Because the "next logical step" might only be logical for you if you are approaching it from a place of abundance, instead of fear or desperation.

Because maybe the Universe is waiting on your to take inspired action before the next step in the plan will even make sense or get delivered to you.

Because maybe you need to be deep in your power, confidence, self-value, and guidance to make the next step work.

 

 

 

 

Because maybe being fierce and going after your your dreams REQUIRES your tender, compassionate, whole heart...your authentic sensitivity.

We are not meant to live solely in ego or fear. Nor are meant to live solely in the spiritual high of being in-tune with guidance and soul. We need to become integrated beings who can:

  • Trust guidance and intuition, who can act on inspired action and grow into the results we wish to manifest.
  • Curate our thoughts and beliefs to maintain our vibration and energy levels.
  • Let our fierce open-heart lead.

 

Staying in the patterns of Intuition hit or miss, mistrust, or frustration from trying to decipher every exacting detail of an intuitive hit is going to keep you in fear. It cannot solve the trust problems. Only taking a leap and creating inspired action can bring us the proof we seek.  There is never a perfect time, perfect place in life in which to begin this level of trusting, other than the only time we have...right now. 

 

None of this requires hours upon hours of meditation, years of healing and therapy, or beating yourself up. 

 

All that being Fiercely Sensitive actually requires is being okay within yourself in this moment, to say "I hear you, keep talking..." to Spirit. 

 

Click to learn how to find your Fierce without sacrificing your big heart!

find your fierce

 

Introduction to shifting hard emotions: Emotional Mastery series

In the space of one year my life had almost completely fallen to pieces. I’m not even exaggerating. I spent months on end on the point of breaking. My family was no longer what I thought it was. Forced lifestyle changes killed the business I had had. Court hearings, lawyers, money flying out the door. Then we lost our primary source of income.  I spent months in deep resentment, anger, gnashing my teeth at the world and the various sources of of my angst. I thought I had lost everything, basically, and I didn’t know who I was anymore. Very little got better on it's own with time.

There is a point where I realized all my internal feelings didn’t mean squat. Feeling all those feels so deeply every single time they came up didn’t change anything, or if it did change something, it didn’t change for the better. Acting from that pain place never got me the results I wanted or expected. But I still didn’t know how to heal from it, how to let go, how to find comfort and peace within myself from all that had gone askew. All I really knew was that staying in that active grieving/anger stage was going to kill me and everything I loved right along with it.

 

I realized that if I had any chance of creating a life I really wanted to stand up for at some point in the future, then I had to start getting a grip. I knew there was no way to simply stop feeling. The more I was able to simply sit still my pain feelings, the more guidance I heard about that feeling. But now I had two conflicting voices in my head. One voice for all the world sounded like “realistic”, if not pessimistic.The other voice sounded like “hope”. I so wanted to resist hope, I didn’t want to set myself for more pain. But I did tell hope, “Maybe. Probably not today, or even this week. But there will be movement on this at some point.”

Pin me!

even fear and heavy emotions are sources of guidance and strength

Even fear and heavy emotions are sources of guidance and strength.

Even fear and heavy emotions are sources of guidance and strength. Click To Tweet

That "maybe: changed everything. The change wasn’t instant. It wasn’t all healing. But in retrospect, I see is that I was opening the door to deeper guidance. That sense of hope, it wasn’t just another opinion in my mind. It was Divine guidance, an intuitive hit, a precognition of how a potential could play out. I had resisted because I didn’t recognize it as Truth. I thought it was wishful thinking, based on my desire to have everything feel resolved and harmonious again. But it was long-term plan guidance, maybe not today. Things were heading in that direction, maybe not tomorrow, but I have to prepare myself to meet this potential.

 

I also resisted. I thought accepting the situation as it was, would mean that I accepted an outcome I didn't or wouldn't like. I now see perfectly how that was fear talking smack. That knowledge helps me to see how fear might be talking smack in my present. This isn’t about ignoring your feelings or burying them. It’s about being present with them and knowing that you still need to make choices. It’s about being able to say, “if my anger isn’t getting this situation better, what will? And what do I need in order move through this shit, cuz I want to be flowing, not stuck?”

myths about emotional mastery

Being sensitive doesn’t mean we are meant to suffer. Our emotions aren’t meant to weigh us down or rule our lives. They are sacred. They are guidance. But they aren’t the part of you that has to make the powerful, life-changing decisions you need to make in order to rise and grow.

 

It’s time to learn how to fierce and sensitive, true to your feelings, yet ready to create change.

 

As we continue in this series on Emotional mastery, we'll take a deeper look at how our deep feelings are actually the source of strength and personal magick in this life.

Why the intuitive Yes sometimes leads to a fail: Part 2 of spiritual discernment for the soulful biz series

The one thing we have to remember, which we talked about in the last article, is that all guidance in meant to be acted on in the moment. But once you've made some steps on the magickal feeling idea, you are now in a different place with it. Does that mean your new project could suddenly become a no-go?

Quite possibly.

It would depend on what you discovered in your last steps of inspired action.

The biggest problem is that we seem to default to this idea that a stupendously feeling green light signal is true always and forever after that moment.  If we are totally on board with the idea, we also seem to default to the idea that a green light means we will succeed or that our project will be the bestest thing ever in the history of good ideas.

We resist the knowing that all ideas need to be developed, honed, refined, worked at. We want our successes to come easily, so we assume that a green light means we have a project that will be a homerun. While very generally speaking, this could be true. We could continue to get green light through all phases of the project and things might just turn out pretty darn spanking for us. 

Most of the time it doesn't. Most of the time a "no" signal or a "hmmm...maybe" signal creeps us on us and we don't even realize it.  We don't realize it because we think we're stuck, have writers block, can't figure something out, our follow through has petered out, or we have lost focus. With that comes the stories about how it's all about our value, worth, or intelligence. 

An intuitive maybe does not mean no or stop

Those "maybe" signals aren't personal. Those signals have nothing to do with your those stories you tell yourself about why you feel stuck, unsure, unclear, or in resistance. It's much more simple than we make it. 

A "maybe" signal isn't a stop signal or a "no, don't do this." It's a "go slow" signal, "recheck the map" signal, "you're taking this too seriously" signal, or "you need to talk to people about this" signal. Maybe feelings mean that something off and needs to be corrected. But that doesn't mean your project or idea is garbage. It just needs to be worked or developed more. 

 

An intuitive “maybe” does not mean NO or STOP. Click To Tweet

The intuitive maybe could mean...

The "No" or "don't go there" signal is a strong signal. Our guard will go up, we will reject the idea outright, it's instinctual. Both the "go signal and the "stop" signal are strong and clear so we recognize them easily. It's everything in between hard "yes" and "no" that trips us up. Any uncomfortable feeling less than that hard "no", is a maybe signal.

A lot of times our personal stories can muddle what is a rather straightforward piece of guidance. If we can take a step back from making a conclusion about our worth and understand, so that we understand that we are simply being asked to reconsider something or make a tweak to how we are talking or creating our new idea, we won't feel stuck nearly as much.

 

As we continue in this series of Spiritual Discernment for the Soulful Biz, we'll take a deeper look at how to further step into role of biz priestess and make powerful choices for the temples of service we are building.

A guide for quick intuitive business insight: Part 1 of spiritual discernment for the soulful biz series

Intuitive guidance doesn't lead to an "end point", instead it guides us toward further growth, which in turn leads us to further growth. So when it comes to asking the right questions of our guidance, we have to release our wishes for a homerun program or launch and ask the deeper questions.

Questions like

Is this right for my sacred business temple?

Will this touch my soulmates?

What energy does this carry?

Can make or break your business!

NO, Stop, Don't go there: This is not a difficult sign to interpret. It's pretty friggin instinctual. It's dread, anger, feeling appalled, utter rejection.  It's strong enough to stop you in your tracks all on it's own, with no further interpretation needed. If you aren't feeling "hell, no. Don't trust this." or "Don't let that happen." then it's a yield sign, not a stop a sign.

An interesting thing is that a stop sign isn't always a stop sign forever.  Sometimes we have to work out and understand why we are having those strong emotions and reactions before we can move on again. Sometimes we will grow into our understanding of our feelings, so that we can glean something useful from the situation, despite our initial reaction to it.

Go, go, go:

This is a clear signal that you probably recognize already because it's so strong. But it can also be subtle. Really any good feeling is a "go" signal. Beyond that, all good feelings are an indication for growth and signs of the path where you're going move toward your destiny. Those good feelings reflect that truest things about you.

The one thing we have to remember is that intuitive insight won't talk about success in terms of sales and money and such. Intuitive insight comes from soul level being, it's going to talk about success in terms of health, wholeness, and joy. Those two categories don't have to be mutually exclusive, and often successful people tend to say they found their wealth success in the things that brought them soul fulfillment and joy. What most LOA and manifestation teachers tend to skip over, is that fact that business still needs to be worked from a business perspective, even if it brings you joy. You still need to be concerned about growing your following and engaging them, even if you're having fun expressing yourself in your social media.

If you are managing to do both, lead growth AND self-expression through marketing, you ROCK. That's how co-creation is supposed to work. But if either is lacking, something has to be tweaked if you want wealth success and soul success. There has be a balance between soul truth AND business technique in order to support yourself on your soul mission. Soulfulness alone isn't going to cut it. You have refine and polish your intuitive guidance, nurture those seeds of inspiration, into something viable, useful, and lovely.

Yield or Hmm, maybe:

This is an interesting signal because it can feel kind of good, but but there no flow behind it, no furthering of the potential. It can feel like mild confusion too, as if you can't quite grasp what is supposed to come next, as if it doesn't make sense just yet or the images are jumbled. It can feel good or at least neutral, like wishful thinking.

While I won't say this is true of all maybe signals, I do often find that while we might feel called to explore the next steps of a maybe signal, that it often leads us to a place we've been before and haven't had a breakthrough at. This doesn't mean we won't have a breakthrough this time, but it does mean we need to get real curious about what it's going to take to make the breakthrough happen. For instance, you have trouble selling a program and decided to write a book instead. While you may need to write the book, the book still needs to be sold. And maybe that is where your plan with the program fell down, in the selling of it. So write the book, but get real curious about what blocks and fears you have around really selling your work. Get curious about what you glean about selling from this perspective, because selling books is different than selling programs.

It might also serve you take a bird's eye perspective of all those thing you felt "maybe" about. Did any of them have a commonality around them, like they required you to hone your selling? or those maybe could have used a better understanding of your numbers or reasonable expectation of a given launch? Those "maybe" projects seem to point out where we need the most work on ourselves, our growth, and our biz priestess skills.

The last thing I want to remind everyone about is that all guidance is only ever "in the moment". Even if we get a clear vision about where things can go, the only place we can begin to tend those seeds is in the present moment. Each breath, thought, and choice will either grow those seeds or take us in another direction. The specifics of our visions can't be held on to as if they are the only things can or should happen for us. Those visions are guidance and sign posts in and of themselves, not the destination.  It's as if soul is giving as an archetypal symbol of the path we have put ourselves on. At every moment we have the choice to choose anew, to shift up the flavor of the archetype, to change our approach, or to choose a different archetype all together. But in end, it's still just a symbol. It's not the business you have in this moment.

Intuitive insight guide for the soulful business

Knowing whether a project has a stop, yield, or green light can help us set deadlines, plan, and developing our businesses and projects in a more efficient way. It also keeps out of the wish-sandwich business, where we wish our biz was a successful or profitable as we see it can be.

It keeps us asking: "How can we act on this guidance right now? Who will it serve the best today?"

As we continue in this series of Spiritual Discernment for the Soulful Biz, we'll take a deeper look at how to further step into role of biz priestess and make powerful choices for the temples of service we are building.

Being unshakable in life and biz

Being unshakable in life and biz

This weekend was the weekend before I started my big launch. I had spent a good month creating and planning, and I was ready to lay it all out there. And then... I spent all weekend doing family stuff that came up, did one birthday dinner, had an unexpected new tarot client call for an appointment on Sunday who then showed up two hours late after I cleaned the house for them, one of our cars wouldn't start, internet kept going off this morning, last night my daughter got sick all over her bed at 2:30 am, and my mother-in-law decided she needed to have a tax return crisis in the middle of my afternoon video shootings. I won't lie and say I didn't get a little ruffled.

Mischief managed: Check

As soon as I felt that black cloud over my head seriously begin to form, this time I knew better than to feed into any of that bull. None of it had anything to do with my value or worth as a lightworker. There might be some truth to the idea that because I was birthing something that had a bigger energy to it, my normal ripples got a little bigger too. There might be some truth to Merc retro and Saturn retro happening in the next week or so messing with the flows. But ya what?

It's only really as true as I make it for myself.

I let that black cloud go. Shit happens. We deal with it and move. My old pattern of listening and believing in my pity-me stories never got me anywhere but exhausted and irritable. What I needed this week was Love, tons more love. It might sound all "don't worry be happy" cliche, but when you think about the Law of Attraction, the you fixate on that black cloud, the more real that black cloud is going to get for you. 

Love is one of the highest vibrations we can bring into any mix. It doesn't have be all soft and mushy, it can be fierce and loyal. Love can be light-hearted like sharing a good joke on livestream just to brighten someone's day or it can be serious and genuine, like telling someone you believe in them. Tap into a flavor of love to dispel those storm clouds or soar above the storm, cuz the only reason that storm will stop you from moving forward, shining bright like the beacon you are, is if you believe it actually means anything more than life happening as it will!

You are more powerful than any storm or curse!

You are more powerful than any storm or curse! Click To Tweet

Pin me!

You are more powerful than any storm or curse

A story of Grouse Medicine

Grouse medicine

On behalf of October, the thinning veil, Halloween and Samhain, I felt guided to share some stories from personal experience!

First up is a story about opening to spiritual gifts. Pull out a cozy blanket, get a cup of hot chocolate, and let’s pretend we’re sharing stories by the campfire!

 

This month is all about being in action with flow and guidance.

Remember to share your own stories!! You never know who will begin to open to their own gifts, or begin to heal, simply from hearing your experiences!!

 

Read the full-length story below!!


 

It is a cop out to say I was born like this. We are all born like this. Few people do not have stories of knowing who a caller was before the phone began to ring, warning dreams of death or accidents of loved ones, or some type of experience with ghosts, angels, or simply something unknown. Not many of us have the chance to realize the fullness or depth of having gifts though. For some, the idea of having gifts will never even cross their conscious mind. I didn’t truly realize this about myself until I was twenty one.

My realization started with a deck of animal totem cards. I had gotten then on a whim. They felt good to my hands and at that time I was very interested in Shamanism. Every few days I would chose a new card and place it in my student id case. This way I could carry my medicine lesson with me and get to know the cards more intimately. I had my favorites, of course. Eagle was strong and sharp eyed. Cougar was crafty and fierce. Owl and crow were messengers.

About halfway through the school year I got stuck with Grouse. I didn’t really like Grouse. I didn’t understand why I needed to hold on to Grouse’s medicine for such a long period of time. I thought I was already following the life lessons of “Find your rhythm, honor the synchronicity, spiral into your potential.” I was in collage after all, studying what I always wanted to study, and taking life as it was coming. I had even been studying and practicing shamanism. It is almost a needless pun to point out, that I was grousing about Grouse’s medicine. In an attempt to get other messages, I would draw until I got something other than Grouse. This continued until I really got stuck with Grouse as the whole deck, but Grouse, vanished from my night stand.

Months passed and a few times I had become so irked at Grouse that I tore through my room looking for the deck. Each time, the deck remained as lost as it was before. The memory of it would stick in my mind, like a word on the tip of your tongue, waiting just beyond reach to be remembered. Even though I huffed and groused that my deck had been lost, there little I could do about replacing it on my collage budget. Grouse stayed tucked into my id case.

When the end of the school year came, I cleaned from my room from top to bottom. I found my deck of animal totem cards on the bottom of my night stand. This was a place I had cleaned more than several times since I had lost the deck. But the deck sat there, as if mocking me, between a few books at the bottom of my nightstand. I had been through those books and even taken them out of the shelf. I groused even more internally through out the day as I finished cleaning and packing for the year.

I treated myself that evening by going down to my friend’s apartment for some tea and some down time. It was a bit of a ritual for us. You may take that as literally as you like, because for me, life is lived by intention and not necessarily bells and whistles. We lit the candles, had a light dinner, and waited for the brew. She and I crashed on the futon couch while we waited and eventually took in our tea. It was an odd night and my friend had other visitors, of which only she could see. After several trips out West and to a reservation in New Mexico, my friend had managed to acquire the friendship of some deceased Native Elders. The Elders had their stereotypical sense of humor and rarely were things actually calm when they felt they had something to share. Nothing about that was odd to me. I had grown up my friend, so I was used to how she worked and what she could do. But that night her friends were usually particularly antagonistic in their teasing.

That night there was a message for me. I never took their messages with grace, they usually brought out the chip on my shoulder. I groused internally as my friend began to laugh while imparting the message. Because she was laughing and her invisible friends were laughing the message didn’t come through in full, but she repeated what she could make out. The message was something about the Grouse card.

I felt completely deflated. Not only had the deck been mocking me and my efforts to understand, now the invisible Native Americans were mocking my grousing. I sat slumped on the couch, annoyed, and explained to my friend about the grouse card I have been carrying around with me for months. I hadn’t told her the whole story of how I lost the deck and had gotten stuck with one card. My friend laughed even harder. She laughed not simply at me, but also at the commentary, that only she could hear. After they all had their laugh at me, it was time to say good night. I still had to make the trip home the next day.

I stood by my friend’s door, collecting my backpack and sweatshirt, when I heard something. Today I can’t tell you what it was, it had been an inconsequential snarfy comment. But I heard it. My friend once again cracked up laughing. The world seemed to stop in that moment, and stood up and looked at her. I asked her pointedly if they had said what I thought they had said. She agreed that was more or less what she heard. But I had heard it. I had heard their words in way that was not foreign to me. I had a similar internal voice most of my life….or at least I thought it was internal to me….

That moment brought my world to threshold I had never before considered. I now had to consider the fact that that voice that reared it’s head every so often was not simply me making stuff up when I got bored. I had to consider that those times when I thought I was zoning out, talking internally with, what I thought was a completely made up character, was not quite as made up as I had thought. This was something so internal to me, I never thought to tell anyone about. I had thought that this was not an uncommon thing, that it was like day dreaming. This process was so innate to me, that I never questioned how or why it was there.

While I am pointing out here how one instant began a realization, an awakening, process for me, the full course of learning what was real took time. It took some experimentation. To my mind, the largest shock was not really that I had been doing this listening all my life. It was that I had never really been alone. I had grown up being adopted, an only child, in between the ages of my cousins, few friends. I had grown up alone and grown up to like my alone times. The shock of the idea that perhaps I was never really ever alone, so to speak, changed my perspective in ways that are very hard to describe. One of the first things I felt I had to figure out was where I ended and other ways of being began. What was my authentic voice? What was fed to me without me realizing?

I don’t know what took me so long to see things as they are. I don’t know what really got me all blocked up from catching the hint that I was more sensitive than I knew. Today, while sometimes I forget, sometimes I get caught in the melodrama of daily life, there comes a point where I get a slap to the back of the head and askance of why I didn’t ask for help sooner. The world comes back into focus, and the patterns and cycles of things give the sight and knowledge I need to tread the deep waters of life and the strength to live my life on my own terms. My path is mine alone, given to me long ago. Laid forth by ancestors and friends. My path, my wheel of life and medicine, is the only thing that can break me, the only thing that can heal me. It is the only thing that is real. This is the medicine lesson of the honorable brother, sometimes trickster, Grouse. Find your rhythm, honor the synchronicity, spiral into your potential.

Is your relaxation time sacred? –Practices that matter series

Relaxation is sacred

It surprised me that relation came up, as I plotted and planned out this month’s series “Practices that matter”. It hadn’t been my first choice. I thought perhaps I would talk more about centering, grounding, soul embodiment, and so forth. Things you’ve heard me talk about before. But as I lived out my practices, I found that relaxation is what I really needed, and therefore probably needed to talk about. The guidance you get for yourself, usually is the guidance that will help others too, right?! 😉

Stress is part of our survival mechanism. I’m sure we’ve all read enough articles to know that stress is not a place that long-term stress is not good for the vessel. The ironic part is that our brain can’t actually tell the difference between high stress and high excitement or joy. Both states trigger similar reactions in our body. This means that we, our thinking, is the only thing interpreting whether a situation is good or bad. While both happiness and stress can trigger similar reactions, only stress has long-lasting negative effects on our natural spiritual connection. During stress, we are so busy trying to protect ourselves that our attention focuses almost solely on the physical. In other words, our natural balance between physical and soul automatically shifts toward the physical, making it harder to hear or understand guidance. Being so focused on just that one state of being that creates a tunnel vision effect in our thinking and perception. This state of mind is hard to break if we don’t know the difference between fear-based thinking and intuition. It can make our thinking AND our guidance muddled.

when you block your loving perspective with fear, you cut off your connection to miracles. This is why you need to learn to relax in the face of stress and chaos

 

Einstein said that we cannot solve our problems with the same thinking that created them. When we stay in the stress state, we are tunnel visioned into the thinking that created the block. It is only when we can tune back into Soul and Divine self that we begin to more clearly access intuition and wider perspective. I know that it’s going sound a little impossible to relax when you feel worried or stressed. But relaxing is the exact key we need to unlock ourselves from the tunnel vision of fear effect AND to open to intuition.

I’m not talking about rushing off to an extra yoga class, locking the door so you can have me-time, or cramming in a ten-minute coffee break. Those activities end up feeling stressful in the end! We’ve been accustomed to thinking of relaxation as an activity, something else to schedule out in our planners. But relaxation is a sacred act, a simple shift in the way we are perceiving the events around us. Taking a few minutes to simply stop thinking or “go blank” is just the thing needed to reset your day and vibe. At least a few times a week, I need to take my relaxation a little more seriously. Whether it’s a bath, a walk, or just a quiet night to myself, getting away from the tunnel vision mindset stress brings on changes my view on myself and what I’m doing. The practice is sacred because, in that space which relaxation created, Soul inevitably fills.

Because nature abhors a vacuum, conscious relaxation leaves more space for Soul to fill.

Because nature abhors a vacuum, conscious relaxation leaves more space for Soul to fill. Click To Tweet

Let’s get the convo started!! What are your favorite ways to open yourself back to the Divine through relaxation? Leave your comment!

Are you doing the heart work? -Soul practices that matter series

Are you doing the heart work?

 

Heart work is one of the most crucial pieces of self work any empath or intuitive can add to their practices. But it’s often the case that we use meditation and practices to band aid our emotions without really every working with them. My work is focused on the benefits of working with emotions and emotional patterns so that we can release them, not avoid them, but truly heal them. My professional work is informed by my personal practices, so don’t believe for an instant that I am talking out my ass in some academic way or that I am trying to be holier than thou. Heart work needs to be talked about more. I met a woman at a psychic circle recently who was just beginning to open up. We had been paired up, and my message for her was to release what was holding her back. As we talked, she mentioned how emotional she kept getting when she thought about her awakening. I had to tell her is was a natural thing, that our body knows how to process and cleanse. I still feel a little taken back that people still need to be told it’s okay to feel and feel deeply. Feeling deeply is a spiritual gift!!!

Just about everyday I have to do some kind of heart work. I do have one specific thing I do all the time, because each day it seems like my heart is in a slightly different place. From what I hear from others who do consciousness practices, this is a common theme. The one consistent thing that happens is that I have to sit and really ask myself where I am things, life, my work, my plans, my relationships. This asking is what informs me what meditations, clearings, shifts that I need for the day. Of course, there are days when I spend most of the afternoon shifting to high vibe, working and re-working tender feelings. The process I use is deceptively simple.

Emotions are a form of guidance we get from our physical bodies about how centered we are or aren’t. Specifically, learning to identify what we are feeling, will guide us to know what kind of self love we need to work with in the present moment, to bring raise our vibe and bring us to center.

guidance behind feelings copy
This graphic is from my free masterclass: Love Letters from Soul: learning to thrive with empathy and intuition. You can get the masterclass free by signing up for my newsletter!!

Emotions are not there to hold us back or to hurt us. So often when we realize we are feeling down or upset, we allow our survival instinct (monkey mind, inner critic, it has many names) to go into full blown investigative mode. This voice within us, has the job of figuring out why we are in pain and what might be causing it. But survival instinct goes a little overboard when it comes to emotions, because usually there is no physical wound, no way to know if a pattern or situation is really over or not. This makes survival instinct a poor judge of emotional pain. It simply doesn’t really understand what the feeling is about. The feelings are there to guide us back to center.

In a typical day,

  1. I will begin by taking stock of where my energy is. Am I full of energy? Feeling depleted? Feeling scattered?
  2. If I’m not full of energy, I go a little deeper. Perhaps I realize my heart is feeling a little tender around myself worth. Maybe I’m feeling resistance to putting my work on the net that day because I’m not sure I’m actually reaching people. Perhaps I’m still feeling some emotional ripples from something my husband said the night before when he was talking about money. When I find the root of the feelings, I get a sense of “ah-ha”, or even “okay, I see. I got this now.”
  3. I then release what I need to release. If something someone said or projected made some emotional ripples in my world, I have to deal with my ripples. The other person probably didn’t even know I was getting emotional ripples, they were probably just talking something out or venting. So I spend time reassuring myself that I have money in the bank and that I have every opportunity and potential to attract money to me in this day. I get really deep into my knowing and sense that even if I cannot see all the ripples I create in others and out in to the world (from the love I put out), that in the world of energy we live, it cannot be otherwise. I get deeper into my knowing that as long as I stay open to the moment, to meeting the universe, willing to be an equal receiver and broadcaster, that the universe will have my back…it’s the law of attraction. Any other thoughts are just fear worrying over getting the results my fear mind wants. I love them, and tell them “it’s okay, that’s not whats really happening here. If we want a life of love and abundance, we have try higher vibe ways of being.”
  4. After grounding in what I know to be true, and letting soul inform me of anything I might have temporarily forgotten, I fill up on love. I ask for very specific things. If I am doubting my self worth, perhaps I might ask to be shown how I can help or have helped just one single person. If I am feeling very caught up in my feelings still, I ask to be given the opportunity to share, in a real way, what my feels feel like. Sharing usually helps relieve the feelings and can help other release similar feelings.
  5. Most days I will find something to relish in, to celebrate, to embrace with intent. Even if that thing is simply that I have to chance once more to make an impact in someone’s life. There are days when the only thing I can relish in is that I get to watch silly comedies to laugh with. And that’s okay. It’s being true to my experience.

 

Doing heart work isn’t about faking it. Doing heart work is about knowing where you are, and giving yourself the love that you need! Sometimes that love looks like: boldness, relief, activated, vulnerable, conviction, freedom…it can take many forms. Honor that and you honor your most Divine Self!

It doesn’t always work on the first shot. There are certain ripples that take a few days to work with, some months and years. But the more I do it, the more I find I understand myself better. I also find that Soul’s messages get clearer. As work to clear out my heart from tenderness, confusion, stress, and so forth, I am creating more space in my daily experience for a more solid connection with soul to form. As I go through this short little exercise my relationship to emotion changes as well. I am caught up in it less, as I can recognize what is happening faster than I had before. The quicker I can become aware of my emotional ripples, generally speaking, the less I really have to suffer because of them.

 

Heart work Affirmation:

Honoring my emotional experiences, honors my Divine Self!

Honoring my emotional experiences, honors my Divine Self! Click To Tweet

 

Pin it!

honoring your emotional experience, honors your Divine Self

 

Powered by WishList Member - Membership Software